Isaiah 30:15
"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength"
The devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young continues to surprise and amaze me. I am a week and a half into the "O LORD, now what" funk that usually falls upon me after Guatemala. How I love speaking Spanish and connecting people. During the trip I had the anticipation of perhaps coming to the rescue part time, with a hospice social work job in Williston, upon my return. How I love coming to the rescue! Turns out, they found someone who will work full time. Therefore, a double dose of, "O LORD!"
Add to that a healthy dose of Midwestern work ethic and I do feel a bit sheepish lolly gagging about the house until school starts on September 2nd. So I'm told in today's devotion, "Chill, my dear." I also had a heart to heart talk with God yesterday. I poured out my longing to do what I love to do, and acknowledged that I must appear quite the ungrateful brat for all I already have. I seemed to hear Him say He heard me, He loves me and He does not judge me. Thank you God!
So let's have a blast from the past from my journal of 1990 as we learn where we may go with Habitat for Humanity:
06-18-90
Good Morning Abba! Good, leisurely, orderly, loverly start today. Muggy. Cool. Birds singin'.
Talked to my grandma El and by best friend. It's good to know they are still there! In the Other Land. This Land will end. Oh, so quickly.
I hope the birds sing where we go.
God has been so faithful to us. We are healthy and happy. We love our temporary Habitat home. It would be fun to show some family/friends around.
Mark likes s-l-o-w starts in the morning. Bethany is heigh-ho let's go!
Today we talked about sin during training. Cross cultural sin. Read an interesting blurb. The "yardstick" is "love one another and love God."
The heat and mugginess is draining. The kids keep playing and laughing and smiling, though! Maybe the air is cooler down there!
06-19-14
Well. Yesterday Reality Struck. Right between the eyes. Our Habitat for Humanity project proposal says "Bolivia." OK. That's cool. Literally. Usual highs in the low sixties. Lows usually below freezing. No malaria. I looked further at the proposal. No sewage. No latrines. SQUATTER SETTLEMENT!!!
I thought once again about sacrificial living. Making a sacrifice for God. Loving His people in need. We would indeed build relationships by living in a squatter settlement, if nothing else. Is that what You want O LORD?
Hey, it sounded holy, but we've got two little kids for crying out loud!!!
I raved. I ranted. I was mad. At God. Like, get with the program LORD!
It's OK to be mad at God. He can take it.
We called our Pastor back in Minnesota, just returned from Guatemala. We shared. They commiserated. We have their prayers.
Our prayers.
I let go. I feel better.
Dear Abba,
Your will be done. I lay the "where will we go" in Your lap. Where I should have left it in the first place. I trust You to place us carefully, healthfully, happyfully, safefully, purposefully. Amen.
